tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62517502011-04-21T12:59:32.863-07:00Do I have to say MORE? It is my OLD journal!Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.comBlogger381100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072512883236409142002-10-01T12:09:00.000-07:002004-08-13T22:55:58.976-07:00

Copyright © 2003 Kazz Falcon Miguel Garcia By Kazz Falcon I am not airing my dirty laundry. I promised you that right now. I am telling you HOW MUCH I grown since then. Everyone is still growing in one way or another! That is how people grown to experience life and learn from it! If they don’t, they would never grow to be the person they want to be in life and ESCAPE from their problems!!

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072511486615118522002-05-05T23:50:00.000-07:002004-08-13T22:59:25.446-07:00

Friday, May 05, 2002 To whom it may concern, What caused Kazz Falcon's homelessness? Hmm, its Miguel Garcia's heavy drinking. Kazz have been homeless since December 2001. Miguel moved to his sisters in Whittier. The facts are Miguel was driving drunk, lost the "suddenly" black car, his good paying job and his apartment. This isnt the first time he lost everything due to his drinking problem.

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072511029814837712001-11-05T23:42:00.000-08:002004-08-13T23:05:39.126-07:00

I talked to my friend online. I "wouldn't let him back in the house. He could have call the police. It would be an showdown, some tough loving for him!" My friend tought that was an fabulous ideal! He wondered when are we gong to meet. I promised sometimes this week, I did have the gate's remote! I took it from the car yesterday when he was passed out yesterday morning! I could go anywhere as I

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510961677323592001-11-04T23:42:00.000-08:002004-08-13T23:12:44.593-07:00

He stayed out all night; he came home about 1PM. He suddenly went out quickly to get somethng for the car! Yeah, right! I really believed him that time! LOL He pulled the same stunt couple months ago! He told me that he was going to check on his money at 7/11, but he stayed out all night!

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510932815302142001-11-03T23:41:00.000-08:002004-08-13T23:21:39.693-07:00

He stayed out all night, he came home about 8AM. His sorry ass excuse was fell asleep at Carla's. Yeah, right! I really didn't believed him. He used the same excuse Saturday morning! I was mad at him! I asked "Where are u going to stop?" He annoyed the question. I repeated myself, "You didn't come home last night. You didn't come home the night before!" He mentioned he loves me!

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510878227364822001-11-02T23:39:00.000-08:002004-08-13T23:25:39.586-07:00

He stayed out all night, he came home at 6:30AM. His sorry ass excuse was fell asleep at Carla's! Yeah, right! I know better!

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510795536310632001-10-24T23:39:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:29:59.716-07:00

4 AM, Miguel finally come all drugged up! I have never saw Miguel like this before. He was on high energy, flewing all over the apartment over an hour or more! He wouldn't shut up for the longest time. He kept on repeating, "I need a smoke, do we have some cigerette, play some music, I need a drink, where is the bottle." I did my best to go to sleep. From his talking to driving me up the wall to

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510747215691372001-10-23T23:37:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:44:17.383-07:00

5:10 AM, You know the drill. I woke up. Like always, Miguel come home drunk as a skunk. I pretended I was sleeping. He woke me up to talk. He wondered where I was all day! I mentioned that where was he all night. Case closed! I tried to go back to sleep. Miguel kept on talking. He claimed that he was with his lesbian friend, partying! No surprise there! I knew he would be partying! He somehow

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510662225535792001-10-22T23:36:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:31.000-07:00

6:30 AM, I woke up and the alcoholic was still NOT HOME! I bet more sex! I woke up couple times during the night, it got to me very badly. Each passing day, stress work into my life somehow, feeding on my well being! I turned on the TV for a while. I came across I Dream Of Jeannie on a Spanish channel in ENGLISH no less. Jeannie wants her own birthday; she doesn't remember the date. Even her

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510611192506912001-10-21T23:34:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:42.603-07:00

4:15 AM, I woke up to a drunken Miguel at the front door. He said, "Stay right here. I would get it." I put on my glasses. He walked up to me in bed. I already know what happened. He asked for the money. I flat out refused. He pleaded with me more. I stayed in bed. I won't BAIL him out again! I claimed I didn't have the money. Bailing him out is letting him drink! Bailing him out is letting him

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510489565808542001-10-20T23:34:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:44.193-07:00

8:50 AM, I woke up to Miguel blew his nose. I was still tired. I didn't get enough sleep! Miguel used the restroom and hopped in bed. I asked him if he want to go with me to the post office. He wanted to, but changed his mind. He would rather sleep instead! He mentioned we don't need anything at K Mart. I figured we ran out of Nyquil! There was one more under the sink! We need another bottle of

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510444402624752001-10-19T23:32:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:48:57.586-07:00

9:45 PM, Miguel came home with food from work! He fixed me a plate, the pasta was pretty good! He brought up that he would go to his friend's place on Normandie for a drink, makes them DRINKS! LOL This time, he asked me! I wouldn't stop him at all. He would drink anyway! He offered me to go with him. I was tired to go. He tried to persauded me. I still refused! Miguel got dressed up. I heard him

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510371229121102001-10-14T23:30:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:47:20.856-07:00

Miguel washed clothes. I wanted so much to go to church, but the car was in trouble! I didn't tell him yet. I went online for a while. Miguel told me that the dryer wasn't working. We gathered up some quarters. We had enough for the laundry mat. I brought out the old winning lottery tickets. We can get three tickets and $5. The $5 was just in case for the laundry. I pulled the car out of our

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-107251025259806182001-10-13T23:29:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:49:09.930-07:00

It was a slow day. Miguel went to work in the afternoon. I changed DRASTICLY since the break up. Not that drastic, I only shaved my head BALD! I looked awesome and, no, I am not a blockhead like Charlie Brown! My head is round enough to be bald! I shaved my head couple years ago when I lived on Gower. I let it grew it back soon after. I wanted to see how I look. Kojak want his cocky lollipops!

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072510173699540552001-10-12T23:25:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:49:21.390-07:00

8:10 AM, I woke up. It was so heavily on my mind. I couldn't go through with it. I put it in the fanny pack. An hour later or so, I put it back in the spot. Yes, I sound like a hypocrite. Who cares? He does need tough love! His family doesn't know what really going on with him. Only God and I know the horrible truth. I just want to do the right thing. Yes, my conscious got the best of me when I

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509943505050322001-10-11T23:23:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:49:32.516-07:00

9:30 AM, I woke up next to Miguel. He looked at me with his sad face. He asked, "Are you going to leave me?" I said, "Leave me alone." He continued looking at me. I said, "I don't want to talk about it." He turned over and faces the wall. I lay in bed, getting bent out of shape. My anger is fueling the fire within! I couldn't stand lay next to him and even look at him. I kept the fire under

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509794774680152001-10-10T23:21:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:49:34.103-07:00

12:10 AM, I heard Miguel drove up in the parking lot. I wished he wouldn't come home any more. There was nothing or anyone here for him. I dreaded the times he comes home! Then again, I can't go anywhere, he has the car and the gate code wasn't working! Miguel said, "Hi!" I just looked at him and say nothing. He said, "I have no excuse. I'm a fucking slut." That was a under statement I ever

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509701036097072001-10-09T23:18:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:49:42.340-07:00

4:10 AM, unlocked the chain. Miguel finally come home drunk after he stay out all night the night before. I went back to bed. Miguel undressed and went straight to the kitchen for something to eat. I went in the restroom with his wallet. I found more receipts from Spotlight. Hmm, unsafe sex, drinking and drugs once again! This time, I left the receipts in the wallet. I could get them later. I

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509496599107922001-10-08T23:17:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:16:57.916-07:00

Miguel didn't come home last night. He probably doing drugs, drinking, partying with his bad friends and having sex KNOWING he has STD, gonorrhea! Tonight, I checked his account once more. I went back to the bank statement ending 9/5/2001. It crossed my mind he doing all that I listed a lot longer than I thought. THE FOUR DAYS he was missing in August 2001, he was DOING MORE than at his friend's

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509445487240352001-10-07T23:16:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:16:49.570-07:00

2 AM, I went to bed. Couple minutes later, Miguel came home drunk from work. 2:30AM, we went to sleep. Miguel needs to wake up at 4AM for work at 5. He cuddles with me in bed, arms around me. He wanted me to clean myself. I was too tired for sex. I fell asleep. Sunday morning, 4 AM, we woke up. I couldn't went back to sleep. I played games on the computer. We were still too tired; 90 minutes

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509365735818372001-10-04T23:14:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:17:01.123-07:00

5:30 PM, he slept. I checked his wallet again. I found more receipts. This time, the spotlight. The big money came into play, all four $42. I went in the restroom. I didn't want to get caught. I checked it out more. I came out. He wakes up. The wallet was in my left hand. I saw the fanny pack on the chair. He couldn't see it. I put the wallet in my pocket and sat down on the fanny pack. He didn't

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509287929795802001-10-03T23:13:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:48:53.563-07:00

Miguel and I got lost to the Medical place. I made a wrong turn. The medical place sent me to the SSI office on Wilshire for a referral. I went back and waited over 30 minutes. The medical would be active at 11 AM. I can't use it before then. We went to his office to pick up his schedule. I asked him, "Want to go to Smart & Final? We forgot to buy paper towels and fabric softener." He turned me

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072511435077982402001-10-01T23:48:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:17:01.840-07:00

1) No alcohol, drugs or whatever bad habits there might be. 2) Mature responsible adults 3) Live separated lives as much as possible. 4) We pay for our own way, the food, and the toiletries! No asking for money! It could cause problems. 5) No shady characters 6) No silent treatment. It could cause problems! 7) No stupid games. 8) No sex with each other. 9) If Miguel and/or I moved out

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072511344386570072001-10-01T23:43:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:17:04.496-07:00

I bailed him out TWO FREAKING times. 1) Thursday night, September 13, 2001 - He had a car accident, drunk driving. I BAILED his ass out of a jam by paying a cab and bring the car back home! 2) Saturday, September 22, 2001 - I BAILED his ass out of a jam AGAIN by paying $368 for the BLACK paint job on the ex blue car. He didn't have enough money to pay for it. He have been PARTYING his money

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509206979967812001-09-29T23:12:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:17:06.196-07:00

12:45 AM, SNL's season premiere, Miguel came in looking mad. He went to the kitchen. He asked, "Did you ate?" I said, "Pasta." Once again, he didn't believe me. He walked toward the bathroom. He asked, "Did you take a shower? Why haven't you fixed the leak?" I said, "I did. The knobs are so hard to turn." He didn't believe me. He complained, "Yeah. I always fix the leak." He semi fixed the leak.

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072511662939929872001-09-27T23:51:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:56:24.416-07:00

Date: 9/27/2001 11:57:48 AM Central Daylight Time From: Cruize 4 Luv To: MCCLA I don't know how to do this post or even to know how to start. I REALLY NEED PRAYERS! Miguel might hit rock bottom soon, but I really doubt it; he is a bartender at parties all over town. This past week has been one of the toughest yet with him. I take it back, one of the TOUGHEST MONTHS! 1) MISSING Some

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509151236697642001-09-27T23:10:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:03:02.880-07:00

4:15 PM, I lay in bed, watching Pokemon. I heard a noise from the door. I knew it was him. I sat by the desk. I didnt want to face him. Miguel came home. He asked, "Hi, where is the beeper at?" I said, "The question is where have you been. Where have you been?" I gave him his beeper from his nightstand. Last night, it was acting up. I put it away; the noise would keep me awake. I went back to the

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072509023206286192001-09-26T23:05:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:01.613-07:00

I saw my friend's IM on the screen. I talked to him. I asked, "Do you want to go with me? I need to fill out a missing person report." Talking to him was so useless! He brought up Marlene and Steve. My God, I have never met those people before. I changed my mind; I would do it alone. He didn't make it any easy for me. It seems I can't be friends with him. I need to explain things to him more than

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072508708970797552001-09-24T23:02:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:06.216-07:00

3:50 AM, I woke up. Miguel was still not home from work. This got to stop this week. I'm so sick and tired of the mental abuse from Miguel Garcia! It was breaking my heart. I don't deserve any of this. I can't go on like this. Somehow, I got to stop this whether at the bank or his sister's house in Whittier. If not, I might as well pack it in and leave him altogether. It isn't worth the troubles

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072508557823860812001-09-23T22:59:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:17:09.156-07:00

Nothing big happens between Miguel and I! Things were calm till I found some INTERESTING STUFF about my soon to be ex lover AGAIN right after he went to work at Noon! He asked for some dollars for his wallet. I lied to him. For some reason, I thought about yesterdays. Some things didn't add up at all. I looked at his "online" bank statement again; I can't put a finger on HSI. I have never heard

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072508394260299142001-09-22T22:57:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:10.606-07:00

9AM, we woke up. Miguel wanted to get to the paint place early. I had a feeling that he would try something on me. Therefore, I pulled a fast one on him first. I know how people operate to a certain degree. I only put my ID in the old wallet that Ricky gave me couple years ago. I got some change and the bus pass; he has no money. Miguel asked, "Do you have my wallet?" He checked my pockets. I

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072508274030909032001-09-21T22:53:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:17:11.336-07:00

8:07 AM, Miguel woke me up; the alarm didn't go off. I set the time, but I forgot to turn on the alarm. Miguel wants me to pay for the taxicab. I got so upset. We could take the bus home; the car paint place is by Western. We lived by Western. He tried to convince me again in the car, "nope." I got some money from the ATM. We went to the place. I drove home. The owner took the car back to the

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072508011670375802001-09-20T22:50:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:12.860-07:00

3:30AM, a knock on the door woke me up. Miguel finally came home from drinking at the clubs. Like always, he was drunk! I went back to bed; I didn't want to get in another fight with him. He got undressed in front of the bed. He said, "He tried to call me." I was online like always. He fixed something to eat. Then along the way, things got strange. He lay on the floor in front of the bed. I

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072507834356534082001-09-19T22:47:00.000-07:002004-08-13T23:43:19.420-07:00

3:45 AM, Miguel came home so late, drunk as ever. Whenever he gets home late, I always woke up! Miguel said, "I'm sorry for coming in late." Whatever!! His sorrys doesn't mean a damn thing for me! Miguel wants to use the phone. I went offline and shut down the computer! He tried the phone. For some odd reason, it wasn't working. He told me to turn on the computer, go online and do it again. This

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072507672391799552001-09-15T22:47:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:16.856-07:00

We went to the post office and almost ran over a guy on Beverly/San Vincente. He noticed the guy first in the back seat. I was in such a dazed that I didn't saw him to walk off the curb. I have enough time and space to avoid him! This past week has been heavily on my mind! I couldn't think str8! Thursday night mostly got to me. I was less concerned about Tuesday's tragedies, but Tuesday entered

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072507627647269702001-09-14T22:46:00.000-07:002004-08-14T00:04:23.920-07:00

Miguel wants to go to his sister's in Whittier. I didn't want to, no blinkers! Miguel tried to convince me to lie to his sister about the car. I was so angry inside; I won't lie for him. If I do, I would prolong his drinking! Hello, Miguel, wake up before it's too late. We got dressed. I noticed his left elbow and arm was bruised from last night. He used a long sleeved shirt to cover up the

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072507487863492402001-09-13T22:41:00.000-07:002004-08-13T22:50:58.646-07:00

Thursday night, I was online. Miguel told me that he was going to get a newspaper like I really believe him! Couple hours passed, I went to bed about Midnight. Then passed 3AM, some noise woke me up. I heard someone knock on the door or whatever. Miguel came through the door, so drunk as ever. A worried Miguel demanded to go with him. I have no clue of why. He didn't say much, but he wanted some

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6251750.post-1072507324356435102001-08-27T22:36:00.000-07:002004-08-12T16:41:13.710-07:00

Copyright © 2003 Kazz Falcon This is my OLD JOURNAL I did few years ago. The Latest The week of Monday, August 27, 2001 has tremendous effect on my life. I didn't PLAN for being in this situation! It was part of God's plans. God wouldn't give us something we can't HANDLE. We don't know what would happen tomorrow. We must live for today only. That is life for us. Expect the UNEXPECTED. There

Alienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10665017401973076953noreply@blogger.com