2001, October 4, Thursday

5:30 PM, he slept. I checked his wallet again. I found more receipts. This time, the spotlight. The big money came into play, all four $42. I went in the restroom. I didn't want to get caught. I checked it out more. I came out. He wakes up. The wallet was in my left hand. I saw the fanny pack on the chair. He couldn't see it. I put the wallet in my pocket and sat down on the fanny pack. He didn't suspect a thing, but my face told another story. I went online. I glance at him couple of times. He watched Married With Children. I continued with online. I looked again. He lay on his side toward the fishes. I waited till he fell asleep. I fed the fishes. He was fully asleep. I sat down again. I put the wallet in the fanny pack. I took it out again. I made up my mind; I would get the main receipts and leave him the rest. I put it back in. I walked to his desk by the door. I place the fanny pack on the desk!

At the end of Friends, we talked about Rachael and her pregnancy. I said, "She is a slut." He said, "She isn't the only one. No names, Kazz." I pointed my finger at his face. I said, "Like you. You are the slut." I immediately got out of bed. I raised my voice. He begged not to yell at me. I wouldn't dare to stop. I said, "You went to the bathhouse." He said, "I only did drugs with friends." He begged more to stop yelling. I took out my wallet for the receipts. I accidentally grabbed the wrong one, the Motel. I put back it and got the right way. I suddenly changed my mind. Why show him the receipts? I have something better. The receipts can be my revenge later on.

I took out the pamphlet and showed him it. I said, "How come you are sleeping around? I got this from you." He was in major shock. I said, "You slept around. You gave me this." He said, "Gimme that. Are you sick?" I said, "You have been sleeping around my back. This is what I got from you." He asked, "Are you sick?" I threw the paper at him. He looked at it, disbelieved! Oh well, that is what we get. We both get the disease, thanx to his slutty ways. I went online.

He said, "Babe, come here." I just annoyed him. I finally said, "Why should I? You want to sleep with the other men. You can have them." I mind my own business as we continued watching TV. I said, "You made your bed. Lay in it." After a while, he lowered the volume down. I said, "Please turn it up. Babe, turn it up." He said, "Don't call me babe. I don't want to be yours anymore." I said, "Look at me, Look at me." He wouldn't look at me. He watched the TV show. "I said, "Look at me." He asked "why?" He finally saw me. I said, "You can't blame me. It was your own doing." Couple minutes later, he turned the volume up. He switched it over to Charmed.

I noticed Miguel weighed himself in the kitchen. I walked up later. I begged him to get on once again. He declined. I figured he lost more weight. He wouldn't move or even look at me, "Who cares?". He doesn't want to be call "Baby!" I replied, "That is what you want. This past four months, I tried to avoid the facts," I continued on in the bedroom, "You kept on and on and on...."

I walked out of the restroom to the bed. He looked at me. I just smiled and went through my daybook. The STD is only open tomorrow at 8AM till 10:30AM. I asked, "What time do you work?" He said, "I work at 7 PM." I said, "We need to wake up at 7AM." He asked, "Why?" I shouted, "You know why. You are acting stupid right now." He said, "Don't yell. I can hear you." I said, "You need to take care of the problem." I went online to do my journal. He asked, "The free clinic?" I said, "Yes!" He asked, "where?" I said, "Melrose." He asked, "What about the gay center?" I said, "I think we need to make an appointment. And you said, 'No one cares for you.' Ha!" He watches TV while I search for the web for the gay center.

About 30 minutes later, I came upon the gay center site. By then, I got so sleepy. I woke up at 4:30AM. He needs to work at 6AM at the studio. I didn't went back to sleep. I watch my shows from last night. I finally fell asleep about 8:40 for 30 minutes. I woke up to Regis and Kelly. Anyway, I book marked the STD sites. He said, "Porky." I said, "What?" He said, "Porky." I kinda got upset; I did answer him. I didn't want to lose my place on the web site. I looked back, "What?" He shook his head, no. I continued on. I got the right 411. He wondered which one. I mentioned that the STD clinic open at 11AM till 3 PM. He thought I talked about the Melrose clinic. No, the one at the gay center. Melrose opened at 8AM till 10:30 AM. I told him I waited about 90 minutes. I took the test and they gave me a shot for blood work. I need to come back couple weeks later on October 17. He might as well go to his hospital on Sunset. STD may found out he has insurance.

He came out of the restroom. I asked, "What do you want to do?" He said, "The emergency room at Kaiser. I don't have $20." I said, "I need to use my ATM." He said, "We can go to the bank." I dreaded that! I hate using my ATM. If it was an emergency, I may do it if it is life and death situation. We would see what tomorrow brings. Night, all!