2001, September 21, Friday

8:07 AM, Miguel woke me up; the alarm didn't go off. I set the time, but I forgot to turn on the alarm. Miguel wants me to pay for the taxicab. I got so upset. We could take the bus home; the car paint place is by Western. We lived by Western. He tried to convince me again in the car, "nope." I got some money from the ATM. We went to the place.

I drove home. The owner took the car back to the place. I made eggs for breakfast. I ended up being the top. We had it every day since Friday. I'm so sick of it. A few times, I didn't want to, but he said, "You don't love him." He made me feel guilty and we ended up in bed. He also begged me too! I'm getting top out by me. LOL I can't go on. I'm not getting enough sleep. Couple of nights, we ended up sleeping after 3 AM and get up about 8! As I typed this date, I can hardly to stay awake! I woke up 30 minutes ago. And Miguel is not home yet, more on that later!

Miguel wanted to wash clothes, over $4 worth of quarters. We need more than that. Miguel worried he may not have the money for the paint job, he doesn't want to pick up his check on the bus. He would do it this Monday! We went to the Cashier's place. I paid the DWP bill and got $10 in quarters. Miguel is hungry, so am I. We went next door for the newspaper; He brought a peach wine cooler. I got upset, this is what I need, more drinking from him! I want to scream. He brought it anyway. We walk across the street to the Chinese restaurant. I told him, "They don't take ATM, only cash!" We went in anyway. Sat down at a booth. I convinced him to ask. He came back, "They don't." I knew it! I was right! YES!! We ate there before, Miguel paid in cash! We forgot to leave a tip at the table! I had his money with me!

We had a spat outside. He was still hungry, so I was! He wanted me to go back across the street to get some cash from the ATM. I said, "There is no ATM. We paid the bill. I didn't see one!" He blew me off; I walked on the opposite side of the street. I ran back to him, he was still mad, "Go to hell." So, I went ahead of him. I tried to walk slowly; I had the gate thing. The garbage man picked up the trash. I kept the gate open till Miguel walked down with me. He still won't talk to me. We went inside.

I sat at the desk. He looked at the babies. I tried to talk, but he gave me the finger.........oops, I mean, the hand! He brought up the babies; he thought one baby is pregnant. I sat beside him. He showed me the fish! I said, "I'm sorry. Still, there wasn't one!" He separated the clothes and started a load! A while later, I had problems with the computer. As I fixed it, he wants me to top! I mentioned I couldn't. He took a quick shower and hopped in bed with his ass up! I pleaded with him, "We can wait till I fix the computer." He gave me a sorry look. I ended up being the top once more! How much sex could we do? It's tired me out; I don't have the energy for sex every day or night! I really need a break from sex altogether!

Evening time, Miguel finished the laundry; I always folds! He wants to see about his money at 7/11. He hopes he have it. He put on his club clothes. He asked, "What I want?" I replied, "Something sweet." He said, "You already do. You have me." About 9:30 PM, he says, "I don't listen to him." How could I when i need to concentrate what I type? I said, "You would take the gate thing." He hasn't came home yet. The time is 1:33 AM! I watched TV, online, fell asleep, and woke up during Sienfeld on Fox. Or was it Drew Carey? I am still sleepy. I am going to bed soon after I get done with today's events!

Well, it looks like Miguel would come home DRUNK and wants the TOP again tonight. This time, I wouldn't give it to him. Sex is draining me out; I need to get a well-rested sleep tonight. I could hardly go on like this. No rest, tire out easier! I might as well go to bed now. Leave the TV on; stay online and go straight to bed. I have been doing that a lot. I don't want him to trip in the dark. The TV gives him some light. Other than night, I know I would wake up the moment he gets home from the clubs. I'm ending this journal till tomorrow! I hope I get away the soon to be cold before it happens, my nose have been cold all day long! Sleep tight! Good night!